The Alabaster Sock

We Will Fight the Threat with Fighting

Posts Tagged ‘Horrible Monstrosities’

Posted by Matt on December 1, 2010

From this comes this.

I love the title ‘Mutant Ninja Turtles against those from parallel worlds’. Also ‘TMNT against the Privy Counsellor’.

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Posted by Matt on June 30, 2010

I am once again reminded that Pokemon knows how to push my buttons:

Sableye is a stylization of the Hopkinsville Goblin, a creature from an alleged Kentucky “alien encounter” described as having shining eyes, small legs, clawed arms and swaying hips (a movement that Sableye does indeed imitate in the 3-D Pokémon games). The Hopkinsville aliens are most famous in Japan, where they have appeared in other anime and video games.”

FUCK YES I remember reading about the Hopkinsville Goblin during my paranormal obsession days. I never would have made the connection, but now I see it, and it is awesome:

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The Return of Animals!

Posted by Matt on March 14, 2010

This list of weird animals, while containing many old favourites, also has many new entries into the strange and amazing creature pantheon. Aren’t Seapigs, Glass Frogs, Geoducks, and Eagle Owls so delightful? And let’s not forget our old friends, the horrible cancer worm colonies!

But it also reminds me of one thing: MOTHERFUCKING PANGOLINS.


Who does not like this thing? Tell me who you are so I can kill you.

Armadillos have always been my second favourite animal (after the otter), because they are pretty cute and they also have armor and curl into a ball. Pangolins are like armadillos with pine cone armor, and they can climb trees, giving them another advantage. Yes, pangolins are pretty great, for all those reasons and probably more.

On that not, when you think about it, the concept of having a ‘favourite’ animal is odd. I mean, I have generally approached it in the same way I approach favourite designs in fiction…but I’m applying it to real, living things. That’s a tad fucked up.

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Oh my god, Animals!

Posted by Matt on September 13, 2009

It’s the new craze sweeping the nations!

(Don’t blame me, blame most of my blogroll. Warren Ellis especially.)

Another one for the brainfart files:

Do you know of the late 90s Disney-style, Fox-produced animated movie Anastasia? I’ve seen it a few times, and it just dawns on me how utterly bizarre and slightly disturbing it is, in a historical sense.

The Anastasia story, I guess, is completely divorced from where it comes from (IE the Russian Revolution) at this point, although it really shouldn’t be. So I guess it could make sense for Don Bluth and the crew to think it could make a good base for a more modern fairy tale type thing. However, there is still something incredibly off about the way the movie portrays, in a completely off-hand way, the actual Russian Revolution.

I mean, it’s still mainly a background thing that has no real importance on the overall story…even so, I think implying that the revolution was caused by magic and goblins is a weird weird thing to be selling to children.

So here, my imaginary readers, is the challenge: can you think of the most inappropriate way to Disney-fy a real world event?

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Posted by Matt on August 17, 2009

Let’s talk aliens.

One of the things I notice every once in a while is how aliens are presented in mass culture. More often than not, I am disappointed. Why? Because most fictional aliens are really boring in the big scheme of things.

I suppose it is difficult for someone to make something that feels really ‘alien’, because we only have the world around us for a frame of reference. Even so, given that the world around us is filled with strange things that rival the greatest imaginations (there’s a reason I post things about animals!), there’s still not much variety in alien designs. Most of them are just ‘well-known earth life form+person’. While this is perfectly fine when you’re just trying to have some non-humans in a story, it gets kind of dull.

This sort of thing is even stranger when you apply it to ‘real life’. I mean, look at all those David Icke nutters who think everyone in a position of power is an evil lizard man. Why a lizard? Why aren’t more people seeing amorphous blob aliens? They could operate technology if they wanted to. Plus, they’d be much better at shapeshifting than lizards.

Here’s a list of properly alien aliens, so you know what I consider proper:
-Xenomorphs (although Aliens kind of ruined this)
-The Blob
-The Intelligent Shade of Blue from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
-Most of the Great Old Ones
-Rot Lop Fan

That’s all I can think of right now.

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Posted by Matt on August 6, 2009

You know what I love? The sudden appearance of unidentified black goo. Take that, Alaska!

Also, just for fun: The amazing lizard that swims in sand. Lizards have a good track record for being neat, it seems.

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