The Alabaster Sock

We Will Fight the Threat with Fighting

Top Ten News Items at E3 2011

Posted by Matt on June 8, 2011

10. Game media apparently still excited by video games based on the ‘Star Wars’ film series. Leading expert baffled.

9. New trends in gaming: voiceovers in games that approximate the sounds of idiots playing those games (“Oh god! Oh god!” FUUUUUUUCK!”), primary example being the latest in the Tomb Raider series.

8. Some games are announced, but they don’t really exist yet, so what the hell was the point? (I.E. Bioshock for Vita, New Super Smash Bros.)

7. Sony is very, very sorry guys. It will never happen again, cross our hearts hope to die. For serious.

6. Revealed: the first major title for Nintendo’s new console: “A Bird Doing Things”

5. Modern Warfare 3 reveals latest footage of people doing something, and then not doing something for long stretches of time.

4. Newest Sony portable console has a silly name… once you forget that we’ve been playing on a thing called a ‘Playstation’ for 15 years.

3. Gaming’s biggest franchise set to return with Halo 4: The Search for More Money

2. Nintendo reveals that they are making a tablet. Seems weird, although I hear there might be a game console attached to it as well.

1. Xbox now becomes voice-commanded with Bing search. It’s like we’re in the future, except then you realize that the future involves talking to a little plastic box and you say GO AWAY, FUTURE!

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